Welcome to Club Crazy, Montana. It took some time, but your rat's out of the bag now. If you're reading this and confused by that last statement, it'll all make sense soon. Stay with us, friend.
Known for its natural beauty and, of course, Yellowstone—the national park and the HBO drama series—it's easy to see how Montana's 10 shades of crazy could fly under the radar. After all, who could ignore the Treasure State's Flathead Cherries that hail from the northwest? Like Idaho's famed Huckaberries and blueberry vodka, they've unquestionably earned their place in the spotlight. And what about Big Sky Country's big love for bookstores? Year after year, Montana's bookstores per capita ranks among the highest in America.
Montana, your bonafides are bangin', bruh. But we feel its our patriotic and low-key petty duty to bring your crazy-a*s laws into the national dialogue. Hey, if Idaho gets no slack for its whacky merry-go-round law, the rattlesnake killing permit thing, or it's dramatic ban on decapitating your neighbor, it's only fair for Montana's legislation to shoulder some flack. Without further ado, we present to you...
7 of Montana's Craziest Laws
1. The torture, sacrifice, murder, or mutilation of an animal, real or simulated, in front of a minor is illegal. Murderous miscreants found guilty of violating the law can be imprisoned for two-to-20 years and fined as much as $50,000.
2. Chapter 5 part 6 of Montana's State Constitution deems prostitution as a 'crime against the family'. If convicted, the sex worker can be fined as much as $500 and, or, face imprisonment in county jail for up to six months. Clients convicted of a first-time offense can be fined as much as $1,000 and, or, face imprisonment for up to one year.
3. The citizens of Helena, Montana will give you hell if your hose or sprinklers sprinkle or squirt water on them as they stroll down the sidewalks. Think they're kidding? They're not. It's actually outlawed in the state.
4. Pool tables in Kalispell, Montana must be visible from the street outside of the pool hall. We hate to 'break' it to you, but obstructing the view of a pool table is illegal.
5. Apart from scientists and doctors pursuing research and private citizens who need to feed reptiles and, or, birds of prey, Billings, Montana says harboring, raising, selling, and owning rats as pets is illegal.
6. (frisbee + golf = folf) If a rousing game of 'folf' floats your boat, Montana says, "No person shall play or engage in the game of folf or throw a golf disc at nighttime in any area within the business improvement district that has not been sanctioned as a designated 'folf' course by the city."
7. From itty bitty Ruger LCP's to automatic grenade launchers, the city of Billings has outlawed conceal and unconcealed carry during the assembly of council proceedings.
C'mon! If these seven Montana laws aren't some of the weirdest or craziest ones you've ever heard of, you're only fooling yourself. The one about the real or simulated murder or torture of animals in front of kids is as bizarre as state legislation gets! By comparison, it makes Idaho's craziest law seem pretty darn normal.