Stop The Planet, I Want to Get Off: Risque White Claw Is Officially a Halloween Costume

I once made a joke that if you named a Halloween costume, any type of Halloween costume, someone has already thought of a raunchy version of it. Turns out, that statement wasn't far from the truth.

I said that during a conversation with one of my co-workers and used Yoshi from Super Mario Brothers as an example. So we Googled away and sure enough, got a ton of hits for "Sexy Yoshi Costume." That costume became a joke, right up until the week before Halloween when I realized that I still hadn't picked a costume for the station's Halloween party.  At that point, all the Spirit stores had sold out of good costumes in my size so I knew exactly what I had to do. Cough up $60 and buy "Sexy Yoshi."

Frankly, it's not all that sexy.  It's definitely feminine and really kind of cute.  I ended up wearing it to the Treasure Valley Comic Con a few years ago and now our listeners get really sad when I don't cosplay Yoshi for cons. (Sorry guys, Yoshi is retired for the foreseeable future.)

Years later, my statement about there being a risque version of anything for Halloween is STILL true. Yandy.com, who is notorious for inappropriate costume version of just about everything under the sun, just introduced a Sexy White Claw costume. They may not be calling it that (you know, to avoid being sued) but the white crop top and high waisted brief feature a very obvious play on the spiked seltzer company's.

The official name of the costume is the "Hard Outlaw,"  which they no doubt picked in part to after comedian Trevor Wallace made the phrase "ain't no laws drinkin' claws" famous in a video making fun of the spiked seltzer craze. It retails for $54.95 and only includes the top. The thigh high boots will set White Claw lovers back another $98 and you have to add your own "flavor" by buying your own colored fishnets.

Lordy! Stop the planet. I want to get off. There's no reason for this to exist.