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My Life With Cancer, “Great More Woods” Part 16


Almost three years would pass before I would notice some more bumps.  Sure enough it was back.  I knew the routine by then, so I got with Dr. Burr and this time there weren’t any “Uh-Oh’s.” (see My Life With Cancer,  “Uh-Oh’  Part 3)  There was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life though.

See there was one tumor that was at the….well next to my manhood.  It was on the inside of my right leg and there was no modest way to take care of it.  I don’t see how medical professionals do it. I would be scarred for life if I had to look at another guys junk, then add to that have to move it to do my job of cutting in right next to it.  No, no, no, no, no, would not happen in my world.

Ladies, I feel your pain, stirrups…check, doctor looking right up your…check, member of the opposite sex assisting…check.  WHAT, if that’s gonna happen I don’t ever want to see them in public and since I know a lot of people, well you’re gonna have to kill her when we’re done.  Oh come on, what’s a dead body when my manhood is involved.  Ain’t gonna happen?   Well then I’m gonna have to marry her and my wife won’t be happy with that. No good huh,  then how about a shot of something to calm my nerves and some Valium.  No when I said shot, I meant, WOW that really takes the eldghe ouff  drool.

Four tumors later and I was ready to pour into the car for the ride home.  I did learn a few things.  First off, medical people are professional and classy, I’ve seen my nurse at the gym many times and she always blushes and walks the other way…fast.  Second, if you get cut anywhere near your manhood, it deserves a new gaming system.  Halo and XBox were my friends for the next couple weeks.  Yes I am Master Chief.

Up Next “What Part Of No Don’t You Understand”  Part 17


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