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Ewwww…what is that smell?!

My first week here at 107.9 Lite FM I noticed this little orphan chair parked in the main hallway near all the on air studios.  I asked about it and I vaguely recall Joe E. saying I might not want it cuz it smells funny.   It didn’t have any kind of odor that I could detect, so I proudly laid claim to it and scooted it inside the Lite FM studio.

It’s a very nice looking office chair.  It’s comfortable, just the right height, doesn’t squeek or anything.  This chair is also kinda compact in size so it doesn’t bump into the walls or the counter when I have to hop up and get things/greet vistors and all that.

The odor that comes from this chair is very suble at first.  Just a whiff of something “off” every now and again after sitting on it for an hour of so.  But this week the smell just really intensified!   I got really self conscious and I started to investigate the source of the smell.  (No – it wasn’t Kevin – this smell is sneakier that what he can give off…trust me.)

Monday: I wore a little extra perfume thinking “well maybe my body chemistry has changed or something and I just smell different these days and just now realized it.”   But even after a sweaty workout Monday afternoon I did not detect any “off” odor coming from me.  So that wasn’t it.

Tueday:   I didn’t wear any perfume.   But after about 2 hours on the air I smelled something like rancid stinky cheese that had been left in a car after a hot August cross country Dead Head road trip.  I whipped off my blingey flip flops and gave them the sniff test.  Results were negative.  Flip flops were fresh and clean just as they’d been the night before when I’d hosed them off after running through some freshly mown grass.

Wednesday:  I’m getting irritated.  Sniffed all around the chair before we even opened up the mic’s at 5:30am.  NOTHING, nada, fresh as a daisy.   So, I thought it’s gotta be me.  Sure enough about an hour later the tell tale funky pungent smell started to burn my nostrils.   I was convinced my dogs must’ve rolled in something and then layed on my jeans before I put them on.   Got home checked out my jeans – Downy clean.  I even sniffed my dogs (they liked that!) and they were all still fairly groomer fresh.

Today:   I was ready when I walked into the radio station.  I was freshly showered, clean clothes, had not stepped in, rolled in or otherwise met up with any foul smelling potentially toxic waste or sewage.  Sure enough an hour or so into our show this morning the odor started up again.   But this time instead of getting out of the chair I stayed in it and contorted my body in able to get a whiff.   It is the chair!!!   But the smell only starts to emanate from it after your body temperature warms it up.  Stand up and the odor vanishes!

My conclusion:   There is a ghost in our building and he’s laid claim to “his” office chair. This ghost guards “his” chair with a very noxious and haunting fart that is only detectable to the person who the ghost thinks is “stealing” his property by sitting on it for longer than an hour or so.

Tomorrow I’m going to return the chair to the hallway where I originally found it and raid the kitchen for salt packets.  I’d heard that if you want to trap an evil spirit you’re supposed to put a salt circle around them or something.   I’ll let you know what happens…or not….that might be a tale for the next radio station newby to tell.

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