The Most Annoying Phrases On The Dating Apps

"Looking for a partner in crime" may not be the best thing to say in a dating app profile.  Overused cliches like that kind of defeat the purpose if you're trying to prove that you a true original.  

A guy who says he's "looking for a partner in crime" probably doesn't actually want to go on a crime spree and no woman wants to go to jail with him. And if it's not literal, then it's a lazy throwaway phrase that he wrote down because he was out of ideas, and no woman looking for a serious relationship wants a guy who gets lazy and runs out of ideas.

Erin Carson at Cnet posted some of her favorite annoying phrases on the dating apps, and I added a few of my own too.  I'm sure you have more!  Leave those on our socials and we'll all have a good therapy session while we wait on that knight in shining armor.  (That's dumb too because guys don't wear armor.  Most of the time anyway.)

The most annoying phrases on dating app profiles

"Fluent in sarcasm" - We have enough to do without constantly sorting through words to find meaning.  This sounds like a big undertaking.

"I'm an open book, just ask" -  Openness is something we're looking for.  Yay!  But we need something to go on first.

"I'm bad at replying" - But that's how dating apps work.

"Looking for a partner in crime" - Setting up a ponzi scheme doesn't really sound like a great date night, and if it's not literal then this is a throwaway phrase, and ain't nobody got time for that.

"Not looking for a pen pal" - As Erin puts it, "preemptively scolding would-be matches is off-putting. Instead, maybe be more intentional about steering the conversation toward making plans, or better yet -- just ask."  Right on, sistah.

Erin also says, "Quoting from The Office isn't a personality."  You may be a Jim looking for your Pam, but if a TV show as your knee-jerk frame of reference for life, you might miss her.

Oh, and if you can decipher what this next one means, it would help me figure out Tinder a little.  I didn't make it up, I swear.  He's got profile pics sitting in a swimming pool, playing frisbee, and standing on a dirt road next to a Jeep.  He says:  "The world is like a wild ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are.  The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while.  Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder if it's real or just a ride."

What in the world?  It sounds like he might be looking for a partner in crime though.

"No drama" is another one that I can never quite put my finger on.  What counts as drama exactly?  Everyone has a past and a story, and that can be interesting.  And if you're expecting us to have a vanilla reaction when we can't find the chocolate stash, just forget it.  Sometimes drama proves a girl is alive.

Half of these annoying dating app profiles have a picture attached that cuts the guy's head off, or it's a car, or just some weird meme. It's tough sleddin' sometimes, but we forge ahead.

If you've already found your drama-free, amusement park-riding, Office-quoting partner in crime, you are so lucky.  The rest of us are sorting through a mess to find it.