Corey Feldman was one of the biggest teen stars of the 1980s. The Lost Boys actor has previously spoken out about the abuse he and other actors suffered as child stars, and claimed that his late friend and frequent co-star Corey Haim was even raped at 11 years old at the hands of an industry figure (Haim died of allegedly drug-induced pneumonia in 2010). That idea that Feldman may permanently grapple with the damage he incurred as an exploited adolescent is a sad thing, and speaks to a larger pattern of concealed abuse in Hollywood that may well occur today.

That said, no one is helping Feldman by allotting him five minutes of network airtime to perform "Go 4 It," an abysmal, tune-challenged EDM rock hybrid that the entire Internet is ridiculing him for, on The Today Show on September 16. While it's (somewhat) possible that Corey and the garter-belt sporting, feather-haloed angel band members behind him think his song is good, TODAY almost certainly knew what they were doing on the morning of September 16: Trolling us, and milking a possibly-delusional man for laughs. But Corey really did Go 4 It, though. He truly did.

Feldman was also accompanied on TODAY by Doc Ice of old-school hip hop group Whodini; Snoop "never say no!" Dogg is featured in the original song, but he must have been booked this morning. The track is from Corey's Angelic 2 the Core double album, and Feldman says it's dedicated to his late friends Haim and Michael Jackson.

"The whole theme of the album is good versus evil, heaven versus hell, that sort of thing," Feldman told hosts Billy Bush and Sheinelle Jones, who gamely tried to understand what was unfolding before them. "If you look closely at the artwork on the album, you'll see that it's me trying to crawl out of the fiery pit and it's the angels pulling me out. It kind of all goes along with the concept."

Corey then used his angelic theme to springboard into a pitch for "Corey's Angels," which is either his band, a charity organization, a way to get attractive young women to visit his home, or all/none of the above.

"Angels probably saved me once or twice in my life, and I like helping them as well," Feldman said. "That's why I created Corey's Angels, as a way to help girls who were like, kinda lost and needed to find their way to get their opportunities, their dreams and make them realities. And that's what we do, we try to help them make their realities their dreams." That's a super weird way to describe how your band was formed, but okay!

Corey's Angels' Facebook page doesn't give many more clues; its "About" section says, "We are Coreys Angels, we are here to protect....and to serve :)
We love making new friends and we want to share our dreams and hope to help you live yours!" Help HOW? WHAT IS GOING ON?

A March 17 status update deals, blessedly, in specifics: "Coreys Angels management is now working with some great modeling agencies, and I have some great castings coming up. If U R a female model between the ages of 18-30 and R lookin 4 work n LA, send us some pics! We R now managing non contract girls. So submissions R welcome! Cheers!"

Mystery solved-ish: Former exploitation victim Corey Feldman is helping "kinda lost" girls to get cast in "opportunities" (18 and over only!). Got it.

Perhaps some of Corey's Angels answered that call, and wound up in the original "Go 4 It" music video from June, which you can watch below if Feldman has, somehow, inspired you.

Child Stars Who Grew Up to Be Just As Adorable