Time To Back Off
I’ve come to the conclusion that we are doing too much for our children. Wait and hear me out. These days we have school, some sort of after school activity, then add to that a sport or lesson of some kind. By the time we get home after working and taking care of the kids, we are flat out worn out.
I understand wanting to make our kids lives better than ours, but here’s the problem…they aren’t earning it. It’s all being handed over to them, why, because we love them and want them to have and experience everything.
I think today we need to start having our children experience “Earning it.” That’s what it needs to be called. You only get respect by earning it, so why wouldn’t that be the case when getting things. By giving things to our children and not having them earn it, they are losing respect for pretty much everything and that includes you. If you don’t “GIVE’ them more, they become bratty and don’t respect the hard work it took to get it.
Look at the college experience, it’s not earned, most parents go into debt to pay for their kids college, while that kid parties the 4 years away. By the time a young person is ready to go to college, they are ready to be an adult. It’s time to treat them that way and have them earn their way through college rather than party their way through it. They will never launch if we hold the purse strings and hand them everything.
As much as I would like to give everything to my kids (now adults), we firmly believe in earning it. Our daughter Alicia is now a stylist at J.C.Penny’s in Nampa. It’s her dream job and she is good at it, not only cutting but with people in general. Alicia arranged for her own financing for school and is paying for it. We did co-sign for her loans.
Kody is my budding film either star of maker. He’s put himself through classes at BSU to get his Certified Production Assistant certificate. He also takes acting classes from an Oscar winning director. It’s his world and he is making it happen He now has his own production company, you can see his stuff on his Facebook page “Kody Mee.”. They all want it more because it’s not being handed to them.
I know this is a bit rambling, but I watch too much time wasted on youth and not on getting life started and getting ahead. There is too much time spent on video games and not enough helping around the house, having a job, better yet a career, learning something, or just being creative. There is too much selfish time from our children and not enough time with them finding out nothing in life is free. Unless you win a contest, but even in that case you had to put in some effort.
We need to start changing things now or we will be taking care of our children when we are in our 90′s, do you really want to worry about them when you should be enjoying your twilight years.
Ladies, Women, Mom’s, today do something for yourself, you’ve earned it. Really take a look and think about going to “Camp Aha.” It’s a weekend just for you. No kids, No husbands, NOBODY but you and others like you, who need to maybe find what’s been missing…YOU. For the price of one year of after school activities, you can be there. Maybe have your kids earn this for you. Make them find out how it feels to work to give someone they love something.
Brenda will be there getting to know each of you, while finding out about herself too. If the house falls apart while you are gone, then you are doing too much and they need to pull up their big person panties and get with the program.
There is a great scene from an old John Wayne movie, where he is forced to retire from the Cavalry (Not Calvary, that’s where Jesus was crucified). The troops are having to head out without him on a campaign for the first time. Shortly after this scene,
Captain Brittles, (John Wayne) meets with George O’brien (Major Mac Allshard, Commanding Officer Fort Starke) and tries to get to go out with the troops. They have a conversation about themselves having to cross their own rivers under fire and that how it was the only way to learn and move forward. It’s a great metaphor for life that I’ve remembered since I was a kid and first saw the movie.
We need more time for ourselves and more time having our kids do and earn for themselves. So how is that for managing to insert John Wayne into a taking care of yourself blog. Far as I know, everything in life can be traced back to a movie quote from John Wayne.