Spanx: Men Experience The Magic
Spanx are magic. Plain and simple. They turn the not-so-fit parts of our body into a compact space. Not everything about these heaven-sent “figure tools” is pretty. The process (and sight) of putting them on and taking them off is tragic enough to end a relationship. These guys now understand.
I have Spanx. They are in the nude color. There’s nothing attractive about the color nude but it can’t be identified through clothing and I can pretend like I don’t have anything helping this figure of mine. I mean, sure, I sit down in my chair as if I have a 2×4 running the length of my body but dang I look good in this dress!
I was getting ready for a wedding and running late (as always). The last thing I had to do was get dressed. My makeup was finished, I had my hair curled and sprayed and my brand new dress was waiting patiently on a hanger. I grabbed my Spanx and shimmied into them. It’s almost a full time job getting my body to fit into the tight fabric. I started sweating, kicking my legs, leaning against a wall, holding onto a door and even laying back on the side of my bathtub – all to get my Spanx on. Right in the middle of my struggle, my husband walks in to tell me it’s time to go. I froze. In my half in/half out state I just looked up and asked him to forget everything he’s seeing. If that had been his last vision of me, our marriage would be in trouble. It was tragic.
Guys just don’t understand.