Goodbye To The Hottest Woman Ever Next To Brenda
The first Hollywood crush I ever had was one that would last my whole life. Many of you have no idea who Lauren Bacall was. I say was because she left us after living to almost 90. Here is a link to an article, photos and video of her and her life.
While other teenage boys had a poster of Farrah Fawcett in their room, I had a major crush on a young Lauren Bacall. She wasn’t just hot, she sizzled, when she spoke it was like she purred. It was bad, I felt cheated that I was born 40 years too late. I wanted her to be telling me, “You don’t have to say anything, and you don’t have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you, (Kevin) Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.” She was all of 19 when she spoke those words.
It was terrible, there weren’t any posters or internet images of Lauren, just old black and white movies. But ooooooohhhhh those movies. She was style, grace, beauty and oh that voice. She thought she had funny eyebrows and crooked teeth. I think she was the one who made that slight gap between the front teeth sexy. I knew I could never have her, but I practiced my best Humphrey Bogart accent just in case.
My friends thought I was nuts, but all they had was a poster of Farrah and the show Charlies Angels. I had Lauren Bacall, Farrah wasn’t even in the same league. Now don’t get me wrong, Farrah was a trend setter and hot, but she still wasn’t Lauren and Lauren didn’t have to strip down to a swim suit to be sexy, so there. Oh good lord, I’m 14 again, I can feel the acne now.
To Lauren, goodbye, Hollywood could take a page from you and learn to be classy again.