Dude

I absolutely hate being called "Dude."  Every time it's ever happened, it's been done in a derogatory way, usually by someone who got attacked by a nail gun, lost a bet on a haircut or managed to have a tattoo artist on crack do the artwork on them. One time it was a guy, or at least I think he was a guy, who had all three of those done.

Dude can be used as a way to say hi, but in my case for some reason it's never happened.  My kids tell me I just don't come off as a "Dude" type guy.  They say I come off more like a "don't mess with me" type of guy.

So I asked what is a "Dude" type guy.  According to them a "Dude" type guy, is a guy you can go up to and ask for change and he'll give it to you. A "Dude" is the type of guy who just hangs, a "Dude" is the type of guy who no matter what, won't get mad, especially if you leave his 35 year old baseball glove out in the rain. (I almost committed homicide on the person who did that one.)

Since I'm not a "Dude" what am I?  According to my kids, I'm a cross of Liam Neeson and Red from "That 70' Show."  They said I'm the type of guy who still opens and/or holds a door for Brenda. (BTW, guys when you open or hold a door, don't make her walk under your smelly pit) They told me I'm the type of guy who believes you only achieve your goals through hard work, that I may not go to church every Sunday, but that doesn't mean I don't believe or live up to those standards. I'm the guy that believes honor is more important than winning.  I'm the guy that can be loads of fun, but there is still that "don't mess with me side that never sleeps."

I thought about it and came to the conclusion I'll never, ever in a million years be a "Dude,"  it's just not me.  Besides, I like the description of me way better than "Dude."

So remember if you call me "Dude," I can be loads of fun, but there is that "Don't mess with side that never sleeps."

Kevin Mee